BAPTISMS FOR THE DEAD (a good habit)

Yesterday was a fabulous day! I have been praying with all of my heart these last few days that I will be able to drop my pride and selfishness and just be able to focus on loving Ashley and giving her all of myself without being afraid or protected. I want us to have the kind of love that does not have pockets of fear bubbling in and out. I have been pleading with my father in heaven to help me to have faith and not worry! And yesterday a lot of those prayers were answered. I was in my book of mormon class, that I love and the spirit taught me some precious truths about how I need to open up my heart and be accepting and nurturing of people no matter how they treat me! The spirit taught me that when I doubt marrying Ashley, I am doubting the answer to my prayer on the hill - and when I do that, I am doubting the source of the prayer - and when I do that, I am exhibiting a lack of faith in the Saviour Jesus Christ. I have read all the books, talked to all the people, done all the research and soul serching neccisary - now it is just time for me to grow up and act on FAITH! Having faith does not mean that we will wait untill heavenly father to reveals somthing to us in full before we act on it. Faith is the distance between the dark hallway (that we cannot see and are unsure of) and the bright doorway heavenly father has promissed is there (possibly out of sight). Faith is the part that you do without assurance - TRUSTING the father to bless protect and love you. It is time for me to act on faith.
Yesterday Afer my french class, I read the updates on Ashley's blog about our relationship. It made me sooooooo happy! I love this amazing birthday gift she has given me. It is so wonderful to me to be able to delve into her feeling like that and see how she thinks and is. It is [priceless! I laughed and felt so happy after I read it. Then I went home and snuck into her room (alone) and layed on her bed and read a letter that I wrote to her when she was in Florida! Oh man it was awesome. We both love eachother SO much! Sometimes we just need to be better at expressing it confidently, you know?
After that my mother and I picked out temple clothes. After that, Ashley and I met up at the provo temple and did baptisms and confirmations. The spirit touched my heart so much! I was filled with joy to the point where I started laughing a few times. I love Ashley so much, she is such an incredible woman. In the temple, I told her that I was going to marry her in december (something we have been trying to see eye to eye on). Things just felt so right and good.
Later we studyied for my french test and she made me grits for dinner as an incentive. I love studying with her. She is a really good teacher and rewards me alot when I am correct . . . tee hee hee. I pray that we can exist on that same level of companionship always.